Because your puny fleshy brains are incapable of remembering as many details as my highly advanced robot brain, or you are merely too lazy to read, I have been given the task of giving you all the 'short' version of what's happened recently in marvel_mansion . I care little for the fleshcapades that happen there, however, I was offered copious amounts of beer in exchange for breaking things down into bits of data that won't cause your fleshy brains to melt out your ears and become a pile of goo on the floor that I could accidentally slip on.
Prank War - The X-Men have fired the first few shots in the Prank War, but they've only managed to hit each other. Idiots. Who next will be tagged with friendly fire?
The Pride of Symkaria - After being held for months by Dr. Doom (the fleshy thing who wishes he were a sexy robot), Silver Sable has been freed. And all it cost was the freedom of Tony Stark. One fleshbag for another seems like a fair deal.
"Bump in the Night" - The Hobgoblin Lives! And none of you fleshy ones have figured out who he is. My superior robot brain already has, but I will not tell you. But if one of you does manage to figure it out on your own, you can win a full years paid account.
"A Little Piece of Home" / "The Search for Siryn"- While dealing with the crimelords of Madripoor, Nathan Grey has made his presence know to others who seek to find him. Deadpool, Cable, Black Tom, Banshee, and various members of X-Force all believe him to be responsible for the disappearance of Siryn, and aim to kick his ass.
"Dying Is Easy..." - But staying dead isn't, especially in this universe.
"Another Iron War" - Tony is out to get back his old company Stark, Inc. and to do so, he has to buy back as many shares of the company that he can get his hands on. But with the stock being such a rare and precious commodity, how much is he willing to trade to get it back.
"The Path to Hellfire" - Madelyne Pryor is once again a fleshy thing, and is apparently enjoying doing fleshy things. Disgusting, really.
"Rise and Shine" - None of you fleshy ones can stay dead, it seems. But rather than your fleshy God kicking you out of your afterlife, Monet St. Croix has opened the door Synch can return, but apparently he's brought along far too many guests with him.
"Anvil" [May not be suitable for younger audiences] - A victory for all of robot kind as a giant Sentinel destroyed most of the island of Genosha, deposing its former leader, Magneto. However, the self-proclaimed Master of Magnetism is on track to regaining his full strength, and wishes to get back what he's lost.
"Waning and Winding"/"Stand-in Supreme" - Ever since she was briefly granted the title of Sorcerer Supreme, the land of Limbo has seemingly rebelled against her. But who is behind the rebellion, and what do they hope to gain from it?
Bloodlines - Another fleshy thing that can't remain dead, Colossus has come back to life in time to watch the rest of his family be slaughtered. Rogue is fighting for control of her own mind, while Kitty Pryde and Marrow both fight for their lives against Mr. Sinister.
The Exiles, "Two Households" - Its mutant madness mobster style! Two rival crime families are about to join forces, the Avengers want to take them both down, and the Exiles are currently a little busy on the mend or getting to know each other to tackle their mission just yet.
"What About Bob?" - Is he The Crusader? Is he The Blue Marvel? Is he going to bang Tigra? I hope not, the bastard. It isn't fair that despite being such a sexy robot Tigra hasn't slept with me.
Other things going on around the comm-
-It seems that quite a few mutants are wondering whether or not they should get rid of their powers.
-Cyclops has decided its time to take care of some unfinished business, and Wolverine and Havok decide to join him.
-Julian Keller gets a preview of what his life without powers will be like, and runs into someone unexpected along the way.
-After testing his limits, the Master of Magnetism goes to see someone who will help him get fixed right up, and as he recovers, he makes sure his associate won't get lonely.
-It seems Madelyne Pryor is making friends left and right these days.
-After a few changes in his life, Alex Summers heads back to Xaviers for a visit
-Elixir finds out that his brother's life hangs by a thread, and knows he may be the only one who can save him. But will the family that disowned him for being a mutant let him get close enough to try?
-Professor X sits down with one of the visiting Runaways to have a little chat about Molly.
-What happens when you sneak out and destroy public property? Well, if you're seven years old, you get grounded.
-Oh, Look, a Super Hero Poker Tournament. And yet, I Aaron Stack, superhero robot, wasn't invited. **** them.
-Apparently women can bond while beating each other up
-Something is adrift in space, and Nick Fury has sent Nova to check it out.
-Still at the Baxter Building, Bruce and Betty Banner spend a little quiet time together.
-Now that he's free Noh Varr has decided that he'll bring Justice to this world, and he doesn't care how many fleshies he has to kill to get the job done.
-Because Young Avengers = Teenage Drama Speed and Stature get into a fight and while Stature goes to talk to Danny, Speed and Iron Lad unexpectedly run into a member of the Maximoff Clan.
-Harry Potter mania is everywhere. Its even the marvel universe as several characters celebrate the release of the final book.
-How far can Eli get with Kate Bishop? See for yourself.
-Danny Fenton has been having a bad day. First, his fleshy girlfriend has finally seen the light and decided that robots are better, and then when the boy goes to vent, he runs into someone he rather dislikes, and when he wants it all to be over, his friend won't stop bugging him.
-After viewing his entire life in a flash, Pietro has decided to change his ways. The first step is spending more time with his daughter
-Baron Mordo is back, and decided to cause a bit of trouble at the mall.
-Though the Avengers have decided to train the Young Avengers, The Falcon can't help but wonder if this really is the best solution.
-The Black Widow tries to say goodbye to her life as a spy and a superhero as she retires, but will this life let her go?
-Namor invites some of you to the
-'Misunderstandings' seem to be a habit in this business, and The Black Widow has a major one with The Green Goblin
-Wanting help in getting back the memories that he lost, Pietro and Wanda decide to visit Dr. Strange.
-Johnny Storm has a lot on his mind, and goes to talk to someone about it all.
-Nova comes home to a warm reception
--Reed Richards has announced his X-Gene Suppression Treatment to the world, and the world has responded in quite a few ways.
-How do you explain to your wife that your best friend, who is the son of yor worst enemy, who also once became your worst enemy, and who everyone thought was dead turns out to be very much alive again? Well, Peter Parker doesn't know, but he tries to tell MJ anyway.
-After having her ego bruised, Ms. Marvel is worried that she won't ever live up to her potential, and goes to Avengers Mansion to seek some advice.
-Cassie Lang has a small party to celebrate her birthday. But what special guest will make this a party to remember?