youstandaccused (youstandaccused) wrote in mansion_fans,
youstandaccused
youstandaccused
mansion_fans

Its All Your Fault!

I am Ronan, Supreme Accuser of the Great Kree Empire! I stand here on behalf of the Kree to accuse you humans of severe laziness and utter ignorance.

Your monthly updates were a good way to keep both us and yourselves abreast of what was happening on your worthless mudball of planet. But then, you stopped! And as a result the Kree Empire fell behind on what was going on in marvel_mansion. But no more!

I, Ronan The Accuser, have compiled a list of recent activity happening on your tiny, imperfect, ignorant world. Your punishment is to read through this, and be updated on what is happening in your own culture.

There will be a quiz on this. And if you fail, I have a hammer that is bigger and badder than Thor's, and I am not afraid to use it!



Bump in the Night - You mean you still haven't figured out who the Hobgoblin is? Tch! I figured it out ages ago, but I'm not telling. Besides, I don't need the prize of a one year livejournal paid account for getting it right. You, however, may desire such a thing. Keep working on the mystery, and you may yet solve it.

The Search For Siryn / A Little Piece of Home - It seems that things have finally come to a head. The X-Men have cornered and wounded the mutant known as Nate Grey, only to find that a wounded animal is the most dangerous. Can the combined power of the X-Men, X-Force, The Juggernaut, Black Tom, and Deadpool overcome the raw power of Nate Grey?

That Yellow Bastard - Trapped on Mojoworld, where ratings make the rules, several of the younger members of the X-Men decide the best way to get themselves home is to Steal ratings their way.

Catastroika - All Natasha wants to do is retire, but it seems that life won't let her. Now that she is at her weakest, her past has come back to haunt her, and destroy her life.

Things happening in X-Land:

-The X-Men find out that offspring from other worlds showing up on your doorstep isn't limited to the Summers Clan anymore.
-How good of an inventor is Forge? He has apparently invented something that can think for itself, quite creatively. Not on the level of the Kree Supreme Intelligence, though.
-What happens when you mix one curious mutant Runaway with the Danger Room? See for yourself.
-Two lovers find that its very difficult to be miles apart.
-Chamber, who so rarely gets dates, finds his interrupted by the unexpected.
-After being struck down by one she called a friend (seriously, can't you people aim?), Madelyne Pryor is force to recover in the one place she never expected to be welcomed. Of course, not everyone was thrilled with her arrival.


Other things happening around your world:

-The Vampire Dracula has returned, and has taken over the Night Shift. Though Shroud isn't going to accept defeat, and has called for reinforcements. But is Dracula now in possession of something that can make him unstoppable?
-Luna Maximoff, the mixed breed child of an Inhuman and an earth mutant, is quickly approaching her birthday.
-Apparently the women of your world have nothing to do, and waste their time sitting around discussing tawdry romance novels. Ugh.
-There is no rest for the weary as SHIELD gets wind that something has gone terribly awry
-Namorita and Nova (whose helmet is dumb) have some not so innocent fun on one of their dates, which causes quite the problem when it becomes a public embarrassmentment. But amends are made, and their relationship continues on
-Night Thrasher of the New Warriors has thought of a creative way to get his team to train together.
-Boys will be boys. Which means that will be stupid about girls, booze, pets, and who to piss off. Though, for their actions, they aren't the only ones punished.
-A Kree walks among you, determined to turn your lesser race into something worthy. Yet you humans resist. Pathetic.
-Are you ready for some football? Danny Fenton is.
-Loki has decided to have a little fun. And it all started with one little book, which, when placed in certain hands ends up causing quite the mess.
-It seems that the one called Wonder Man was having trouble pulling himself together again. Perhaps he should have remained dead.
-There is no peace for the Prince of Atlantis. He can't even so much as read a book or have a quiet evening at home without being disturbed.
-Hn, apparently females of your world bond over beating people up. It seems to be a new trend. Which means either your females are getting tougher, or your men are as weak as we suspect.
-Thor, with his less awesome hammer, spends a little quiet time with his lady Sif.
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  • 25 comments
I have a hammer that is bigger and badder than Thor's, and I am not afraid to use it

No need to brag....
If you had a hammer as impressive as mine, you'd brag about it too.

Though I guess you can brag that you have bigger breasts than Powergirl.
Pff! Thor's hammer and his helmet are WAY cooler than yours. I can't even see your neck with yours. Do Kreezie's have a neck?

And you shouldn't talk about his boobs like that, mister. It's kinda mean... even if they are really big.
We are not called "Kreezie's". Just "The Kree".

I have the most awesome hammer in the universe. The people voted, so I know. And Thor's helmet is dumb too. What's with those little wings on the side of it?
I think they're called "wings". I mean, DUH.
Thor's are cool!

Not so much yours.
Hey! Mine are rocking!

See how goofy I look without them?
That's true, Mister Cap, but what are they for? No ever seems to know...

I also thought it was rude to turn the flag into clothes. It'll get dirty, won't it?
Only with the blood of Freedom's enemies!
You should get a recount or something... it doesn't even LOOK like a hammer.

Thor's helmet is NOT DUMB. The wings are pretty and super-pointy for battle and stuff. It's a God thing, so you wouldn't know.
You will know it is a hammer when I SHMASH YOUR PLANET TO BITS!

And the helmet is dumb. The pointy things are useless because they aren't pointing at the enemy. And they just look stupid.
Oh yeah? Bring it, C-Kreepy-O!

It IS NOT. I bet they won't feel good when they head-butt you into outer space.
Oh, I will bring it. I promise you, it will be brought. It will be brought something fierce. Like a... like a... like a fierce something.

The Earth shall shake. Your world will tremble.

Your planet will be served.
Yeah. Bet that's what all you no-neck Kreepolas say.

I bet I know what's really wrong with you...
There is nothing wrong with me. I am a Kree, the pinnacle of evolution of my species. Not like you genetic pit-stops that are mutants.
Genetic wha... Oh yeah? YOUR MOM.

And you have GUY GLANDS, Kreepachu! You're just jealous cause Thor's gear is bigger, shinier, and totally way more awesome to the last power than yours, so you're just gonna be the meanie green-eyed Kreeture from outerspace wherever and NOBODY'S GONNA LIKE YOU.

Bet you don't even have a girlfriend. That's why your glands are all stopped up.
I am the SUPREME ACCUSER of a VAST INTERGALACTIC EMPIRE. Thor isn't even worshipped as a God on his own planet anymore.

I have no reason to be jealous.

And I cold easily get a girlfriend if I had the time for one.
Mebbe you'd have time to find one -as if you could- and if you'd stop wasting most of your time by being all whiney and FINGERPOINTY.

Thor has a freakin' gazillion fan clubs. How many do you have?
This is how you properly point your finger at someone if you're going to accuse them of anything!

*points finger in the way only a SUPREME ACCUSER can!*

I have plenty of fan clubs. And many women throw themselves at me. They want my fingerpointing skills for other purposes.
*winds up*

I don't point, Supreme Loser, I punch!

Where are they? I never heard of any. Even that flying silver guy with a surfboard gets more fan mail than you do.

They don't want your attention, mister. Their prob'ly just tired of doing this at you - *makes classic "Loser!" sign to forehead* - when you start being a crybaby.
Tiny human creature, do not make me smite you with my hammer. I promise, you will not like it.

I have fanclubs on hundreds of planets. Even earth! Just check out www.iaccuseyou.com

They want my attention. For things you aren't old enough to know about.
You won't like it when I give you a cosmic wedgie, you blue meanie. I promise, you're gonna chafe.

I got a website for you. Go to your outerspace Google page and type in www.kreeative-denial.com

What things? My mom was a shrink. I know all about all kinds of stuff.

Yes, my bookish plot is quite amazing, isn't it? I'm sure if he ever READ ONE my dear, idiotic brother and his equally illiterate wench wouldn't be so easy to mow over.

Remember mortal children, this is why we learn to read. To turn our brothers' girlfriends into hideous long dead monsters.
When I get done with this other loser Accuser Loser, you're next.
*little girl transformation go!*

Look, I can even fight you on your own level. Go away, girl. I have no quarrel with you and I do not waste my time playing fisticuffs with mortal children.